Let's chat about anxiety
Anxiety, unfortunately, doesn’t wait for a good time. There’s no - oh you’re busy, I’ll come back later.
I can wake up with nothing particular weighing on my mind, no particular stress, no tensions. But then I feel my chest tightening, my breath getting shallow, my heart starts to thump a little harder. To breathe becomes a task. And just like that, within the blink of an eye I feel myself fighting those all too familiar feelings. Feeling frustrated at nothing, a dark cloud on what was a lovely a sunny day. I feel like I’m sinking into sand, an almost tangible weight on my body, like heavy waves are crashing over my head and I can’t hear what anyone else is saying to me through the noise of the whirring going on inside.
I have to use all my focus just to be, I use my hypnobirthing breathing to get air passed the tightness in my chest and into my lungs. Like a door has been bolted shut in my chest and the air has to be forced and squeezed and shaped to battle its way past.
I listen to music that for me transcends the situation, I get outside, even if its the last thing I feel like doing, even though stepping out of the front door and away from the safety of my house feels too overwhelming. I get out into the air. And breathe. Just breathe.
And it passes, as it always does. In just the same way that it arrived: unannounced and out of the blue.
I wouldn’t label it. I think we all struggle on different levels. I’ve learnt to deal with it, to ride out the wave. To not give it the attention it wants from me. To separate anxiety from myself. It’s not who I am, it’s just something I feel sometimes.
I’m fully aware that I’m one of the lucky ones. Someone who it doesn’t affect too often, who is surrounded by support, who can pull their head above the waves. I know there are so many who struggle with this daily.
But I just wanted to share my tiny little story so as to be another voice normalising mental health. Because to talk is our strongest weapon.