The busy competition
I think the stress and the deadlines and the urgency that come with being busy can sometimes fill a need that we have to feel important. To feel that we only have value if we’re rushed off our feet.
With social media there’s a constant pressure to be keeping up appearances. To have as jam packed schedule as the next person because if you don’t then maybe you’re not as successful. And if you don’t, well, then just put on a show so that you are seen to be juggling a manic filled, colourful life the way everyone else is.
But maybe to not be busy is no reflection at ALL on who you are, on your worth, or on what you are capable of?. But is, in fact, just a reflection of life and the different seasons we go through.
I’m not busy at the moment. I have some work on, but not enough to overwhelm me. If I’m honest I’d love more work. I manage to get all the urgent bits done in the hours I have and I’m in a season where I really crave more. There are always things I can be doing, especially working as a freelancer: there are always long term projects to plan, goals to set and a need to think up new creative concepts and content. Now that Jet and Nova are both a bit older and sleep through the night(ish) I have a new found energy to work in nap times and the evenings and I crave more work.
But (and its always a big but) I’m learning to embrace the precious time I have with my babies. The quiet time. The unseen time, playing at home whilst the world carries on. Time, that I will never get back.
I don’t know what this post is even really about. I just think everyone is rushing everywhere. And it can make me feel a bit inadequate, and I’m learning that if I ever feel something, there’s a chance someone out there is feeling it too.
Maybe its the people I follow on Instagram. My sister (very wisely 😉) recently said that your feed should feed you. And that is SO blinking true. I think I follow a lot of similar bloggers to myself who are all rushing from one event to another job with a brand lunch thrown in between. And you start to compare yourself. Why aren’t I there? Why is so and so working on that project?
And that, my friends, sets you on a path that no one wants to go down. It’s the age old lesson: comparison is the thief of joy. And boy, has my joy been robbed a lot recently.
Busy-ness is just yet another facet of this new social media world where we are comparing our reality to other peoples highlights. Thinking that we aren’t doing as much as other people when we’re only comparing ourselves to what they choose to show online. We see the fun events and the endless meetings but we don’t see the slow, tired pyjama mornings or the toilet cleaning.
Life is all about balance. Sometimes its busy, sometimes its quiet. But we only tend to talk about it when it’s busy. The look how much I’m doing facade.
So there’s the more glamorous side of busyness, like we’ve just talked about. Then of course there’s the dull never ending To-Do list that we all have, the one that will forever be never ending because just as you tick things off, new jobs appear. But are they so essential that you can’t pause for a minute to chat to another parent as you pass each other at nursery pick up. Or to take half an hour for yourself during the children’s nap time, to actually just sit, put your feet up, mentally prepare yourself for the next half of the day. I’ve been so guilty of this recently. I really caught myself a few weeks ago, dropping Jet off at nursery, he only goes for one full day a week and so that is the main part of my week I dedicate to work. If I drop him off (often Henry does the honours) I tend to fly in like a whirlwind and leave again, in under 30 seconds. I bumped into a mum coming in as I was leaving, I recognised her from drop offs but we’ve never actually spoken. She said Hi and looked like she was going to strike up conversation and I just said in a fluster,
‘Hi, I’ve got so much to do, I’ve gotta go’
And I kicked myself after. Because who do I think I am? To not have the time to say Hi, to get to know other parents, to just stop and breathe and remind myself that I’m not curing cancer. I’m just trying to get a job done, and that’s important but life is also important. Being a neighbour and a friend and not a self-inflicted fried and frazzled parent.
So I’m trying to let the list rule me a bit less. The world keeps spinning after all. Regardless of whether I remember to book in my doctors appointment, or write that latest blog post, or pick up that parcel from the Post Office or clean the windows. Those jobs are always there and they will get done. But I really want to slow down.
So whether you’ve got an endless list of boring jobs, a sea of exciting invites, fun events, boring admin, over tired children, a pile of washing. Whatever it is you may be doing. If you’re busy, great. If you’re not, great.
Either way, I think you’re great. What you do doesn’t define you. It’s who you are while you’re doing it that matters.
Big love x