It's not real

I took a photo earlier of myself in a new tee, sipping on an iced latte to post on insta. I look like I don't have a care in the world. But in reality I've been in a bit of a weird funk the last few days. I cant shake myself out of a slightly negative head space. That photo doesn't reflect my whole reality, in the moment that I took that photo I wasn't faking a smile, it was genuine but it was a smile within a day of highs and lows.

I love taking photos, editing photos, posting photos. It's a little creative outlet for me. Somewhere to document little highlights of my days with my babies. Somewhere to collate memories for them to look back on. But one photo is such a tiny sliver of my day. A snapshot of a happy hug between Jet and Nova is all well and good but the other 23 hours and 57 minutes are unaccounted for. The quiet, sometimes lonely moments, the rushing around, the nappy changes, the sick down my clothes, the tantrums over snacks, the gorgeous chats we have, all Jet's new words, prepping his dinner, the days when he refuses his dinner, the laundry, bath time, the juggle, collapsing on to the sofa at the end of the day. There is SO much more to my day, my week, my life than what I show on those insta squares.

It's not an intentional thing. I don't purposefully hide parts of my life, I just can't feasibly show it all. I try, within my captions, to chat openly. To talk about the highs and the lows. Those captions have opened up so many friendships, friendships that I sometimes forget are solely online. Other mums that I chat to almost daily, mums to ask for advice from and to compare notes with. It's definitely in the honesty and the vulnerability that you engage best with people and I love instagram for giving me that opportunity.

But I've been thinking recently about how I come across to people. I have had a few messages recently from lovely mums asking for advice because 'you seem to have it all together'. That couldn't be further from the truth and I hate the thought that I am painting such a false image of my life as a mum just because I enjoy VSCO HB1-ing my photos within an inch of their lives.

I want my Instagram to be pretty and I only want nice photos of my babies on there. Not because that's what I want you to think my life looks like all the time but because I'd rather remember my days in that way. Seeking out the joy in each day and capturing it in a photo. I don't really want to take a photo of Nova's poo explosion, or my greasy hair after forgetting to wash it for the best part of a week. And I don't think you'd really want to see photos like that either?!

Anyway, this was just a long winded way of saying: Instagram is not reality. It is no one's reality. Don't compare your reality with other people's highlights. It is a place where we get to choose what parts of ourselves we reveal (that sounds like some sort of strange striptease..) Some people enjoy posting the gross moments and the low moments, whilst for some, they'd rather stick to wisteria shots all day e'ry day. Whichever approach someone goes for it is still just a small snippet of their much bigger life.

A smile and an iced latte is a perfect little moment, don't mistake if for a perfect little life.

Big love x


Ruth Marsden